I am most certainly NOT a morning person. I'm just not. Deal with it.
Since moving here last January, we are regularly woken up by this. (Turn your speakers up REAL LOUD for full effect.)
The neighborhood kids seem to think that it is okay to wait for the bus by using our streetlight as a home base for a rousing game of tag. Did I mention that said streetlight is located about 24" from our very large bedroom windows? Or that their bus arrives at 6:55 AM? THAT'S IN THE MORNING. WHEN THE SUN IS JUST RISING. WHEN I WOULD RATHER BE SLEEPING INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO THOSE PESKY KIDS.
B once asked them politely to please "keep it down". I do hope that him going outside wearing just a pair of boxer shorts did nothing to lessen the notion that he was serious. VERY serious.
I believe he went out there this morning, fully dressed this time, and just stared at them to see if THAT had any effect. I was a little hazy WHAT WITH IT BEING THE SLEEPING TIME. I would think that close proximity to a very angry adult would calm them down, but OH NO, they seem to thrive on it.
STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP is the noise it makes when they run up our staircase. Yes, there is climbing involved to reach the home base. A deterrent? No, just a small obstacle to these kids. Where are all the fat, lazy kids I keep hearing about on the news? I thought this country was overrun with little butterballs who can't run anymore! Or scream at the top of their lungs for that matter. No, we've gotten some mutant strain who laugh at a few steps and are WIDE FUCKING AWAKE at 6 in the morning. Their lungs are hearty and strong and able to yell BUUUUSSSSSS! to let everyone to know to come out of hiding and run up the hill to catch the bus.
One day, I will go out there and melt them with the laser beams shooting from my tired, bloodshot eyes.
The second time I got woken up today was by someone calling my phone at 8am asking for Jim. You would think that after 3 times of him calling and me saying that "No, I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number" he would get it through his THICK SKULL that JIM IS NOT HERE. STOP CALLING ME. PLEASE STOP CALLING ME. Please.
He called 3 more times. After that, I just gave up on getting anymore sleep and turned the TV on to watch some CNBC, which I find calming for some reason.
design & content by Melissa Sikorski - 2008
portfolio.sapidity.net
This design started with a template from Amanda at bloggerbusters.com
(Amanda, you rock.)
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
So don't be a punk-ass and steal my stuff. Simply ask me.
4 comments:
I am SO THERE.
The little bastards put gum on the fender of my car the other day. I know it was one of those damned kids because it was strong smelling tropical fruit gum.
Oh my god. I just became "that guy" I remember when I was a kid. Dear lord. What have I become?
Ahahahahahahaha!
We be gettin' old there Brian ol' boy. We be gettin' old.
Still doesn't mean we can't scare the bejeezus outta those damn kids when we get there. Run at em from the door with a mask and knife, cum up to them, then pull chewed gum out from under the mask we're wearing and put it in their hair.
THAT'll teach em!
and if that doesn't work, you can slit their throats, cuz they totally have it coming.
Post a Comment