MARBLE, TASSELS, AND BERGERE CHAIRS...OH, MY!

Had another interview on Friday.

It was rather odd. I applied over careerbuilder, but couldn't check out the firm before I applied, 'cause they didn't have a website. So I went in totally blind.

I got a call back and even though the owner didn't sound too enthused with me during the phone interview, I coerced scheduled a face-to-face interview. I knew I wasn't qualified for the job, but she had commented that she had hired the person that was leaving right out of school and she wasn't worried about my inexperience, so I blurted out "I'd love to get together with you to discuss the position more" during a pause in the conversation and after a moment of silence, she gave me a time to come in.

I'm worried that I'm not taking enough risks in this job search, not putting myself out there and underselling myself and my abilities, so I forced myself on her. To be honest, I seriously contemplated calling her back and canceling out of embarrassment on my part, but I willed myself to go through with it. I asked if there was anything she would like me to bring and she mentioned bringing drawings. Which I didn't have a hard copy of at the time, but after $40 and 3 trips to Kinko's in 12 hrs, I acquired.

I knew I didn't have an ice cube's chance in hell the second I pulled into the parking lot. It was a firm that specialized in a specific style in VERY high end residential projects. I'm certain they do it very well - the place was money. Their offices were spacious and comfortable, and very nicely done. I like to call their style "Tuscan-French Floribeean", because it's a style I've really seen only in Florida and some celebrity homes in California. See here, here, and here. Very Calico Corners. Very InStyle magazine.

Very NOT me.

Not that I couldn't do that, I TOTALLY could, but I just haven't before. It's not enough that you have the potential to be good at something, only that you are and I just don't have the experience dealing with clients with actual budgets where things like custom drapery and marble tile floors could be installed and then photographed and put in my portfolio. Never mind clients, I don't even have acquaintances who have the taste for such things. But I went in and sat down at the big marble table, with leather chairs so heavy I could hardly move them, and showed her my pitiful 'portfolio', all the work I had done so far.

I felt very low at that moment. Very out-classed, and even slightly trashy. So mediocre. Not by anything that she asked or said during the interview, she was completely cordial. I just had a feeling of impending doom that made me lock up like a clam, dodge eye contact, begin to stutter a little, and forget to smile. You know, my usual interview style. I was perched on the edge of that chair like a scared puppy. I think I even started tapping my heels a little bit. I tried sooooo hard to just relax and attempt some sort of conversation, but it didn't work.

The interview lasted all of 7 and 1/2 minutes. I arrived about 10 minutes early ('cause I didn't know what traffic would be like), and I was done before I was even supposed to begin. I thanked her for taking the time to talk with me, gathered up my things and I was on my way.

This is all getting very frustrating. It's not enough that I actually find a position that I am eligible for because of my lack of experience and CAD capabilities. I also have to find someplace where my style meshes. SO FREAKIN' AGGRAVATING. Is there no modern/ vintage/ country/ funky design firm out there willing to take a chance?