THAT HONKEY BITCH.

I got honked at twice in one day.

The first time, I was waiting to pull onto 436 right by our house, next to the Mobil. I had to wait (and wait, and wait) for the traffic to clear because I needed to cross 3 lanes to get to the right side exit. From where I was sitting to where the on-ramp starts is about 50 feet. Dammit, that intersection is a mess.

So I'm waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And people are flying past me in front of me. The light down the road never changes, it's still green. A bus flies by at about 50 miles an hour in the lane closest to me. People are swerving around each other to get to the on-ramps on either side of the road. So I wait until it's mostly clear, 'cause the LAST thing I need is to get run into.

All of a sudden. I hear a honk. A LONG honk.

I think, "Oh god, is something wrong with the car? Maybe a flat tire?"

So I turn around just to see what's wrong, and this woman is waving her arms at me out her car window. She honks again. Sheeesh. I ignore her.

So I'm still waiting. THIS IS THE WORLDS LONGEST GREEN LIGHT FOR CHRISSAKES!!! And the cars are still flying by.

A spot finally clears up, and I take off and floor it to get all the way across. I sit in the turn lane and wait for the red light to change to get on I-4. Then the 'lady' who was sitting behind me pulls up to my right, comes to a full stop in the lane next to me, blocking moving traffic in that lane, rolls down her window and says: (and I quote)

"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING MERGE!!?!!?!!!!!?!!!!!!?"

I was speechless. I seriously had no words. I'm getting angry again just WRITING about it. When she pulled up, I thought: "Oh, shit, I must have a flat." BUT OH NO. That white trash bitch pulled her brand new burgundy Infinity with chrome trim and spinner rims and a license plate number of 342 JAY up along side me just to give me driving tips. As we pulled onto I-4 she pulled into my lane behind me and I started freaking out a little bit. Then she cut across 4 lanes and took off at about 90 mph.

I kept driving hoping that her car would be in the parking lot where I was going so that I could slash her tires or key the side of her car or something equally mature. If you happen to see her (look for the frosted, permed mullet she was sporting) or her car around town do one of these things and think of me.

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The second time I got honked at that day, I was waiting at a red light, about to turn right to get back on the main road in Sanford. I pull up, inch out into the intersection and get ready to turn. I then look up at the light and see a very large "NO TURN ON RED" sign posted there. I also see a highway patrol car pass in front of me and decide not to chance it, because where there's one HP there's seven. Sorry, no ticket for me today!

So I'm sitting there waiting patiently, and a black Tacoma truck pulls up behind me and honks. I look up, thinking I missed the green light, but no, it's still red.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

I can't believe it happened twice in one day.

Driving blows.